Today was Sunday. I woke up, ate breakfast and got ready to go to church. One family member took FOREVER to get ready so we got there a little late. We got there for the last two songs of worship. As I stood in the bleachers, suddenly I didn't feel like worshiping. Something inside my heart was pushing me back, preventing me from raising my hands and singing with all my soul. Something...whatever that something was...confused me a great deal that morning. "What is wrong with you???" I asked myself. "Why aren't you worshiping??? Jesus has saved you! He died on the cross and was raised to life again!!! What is wrong??? I'm not sure if I should call that weird, but I sure thought it was.
The next day, I talked with my mom about it and she said that my spiritual dryness was like a best friend...
So, you always invite this best friend over and have amazing times together. One day, your best friend moves to china and all you can do is write letters to keep in touch. You keep up the relationship, but after a while, writing letters gets dry. There is no more enthusiasm, no more excitement. Your friend is so far away that you feel like you don't even know her any more. One day, your friend calls and says she is coming back to America, but you aren't that excited about it. Your relationship is so dry and things aren't the same anymore.
My mom said that when you don't have your bible time during the week, don't dwell on God's sacrifice for you, or don't pray at all...your relationship with Jesus gets dry. When you come to church, all of a sudden you can't find a reason to worship. That's EXACTLY what happened to me. In the Bible it says:
"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." ~James 4:8
I need to seek God with all my heart and soul and the best part is...he will NEVER turn me away! Even if I don't acknowledge or praise God, he's still there right beside me, loving me anyway! Even when I think evil thoughts or sin or totally fail him altogether, he's still there slowly...patiently...compassionately...drawing me back to him. He'll never me or forsake me even when I treat him like dirt. Even when I spit in his face and tell him he's controlling my life too much, he gently pushes truth in my face and says "Child, remember your past life? You were miserable, lost in a pit of muddy, thorny sin until I lifted you out. My guidance is necessary for you, my grace is sufficient for you, and my love will never fail you. You need nothing else in this world." What an amazing Savior we have!
But life...you've been promised life. I thought you believed...your God is on your side. If stories of your God are true, then wouldn't he come through? You said he cares for failures too. ~ESTHER
I need to seek God with all my heart and soul and the best part is...he will NEVER turn me away! Even if I don't acknowledge or praise God, he's still there right beside me, loving me anyway! Even when I think evil thoughts or sin or totally fail him altogether, he's still there slowly...patiently...compassionately...drawing me back to him. He'll never me or forsake me even when I treat him like dirt. Even when I spit in his face and tell him he's controlling my life too much, he gently pushes truth in my face and says "Child, remember your past life? You were miserable, lost in a pit of muddy, thorny sin until I lifted you out. My guidance is necessary for you, my grace is sufficient for you, and my love will never fail you. You need nothing else in this world." What an amazing Savior we have!
But life...you've been promised life. I thought you believed...your God is on your side. If stories of your God are true, then wouldn't he come through? You said he cares for failures too. ~ESTHER
Oh wow that analogy is really helpful to understand! I've totally experienced that many times before. God is so good to draw near to us when we draw near to him though! (James 4:8)
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